Title: Ancient History

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything for the whole seven seasons.

Season: 7

Disclaimer: Voyager, characters, concept, etc, aren’t mine.

Notes: Random idea I had weeks ago but only just managed to write up. I know in Shattered they said nobody would remember…but…yeah, messing with that idea. For Laura – thank you for the help and listening to my wailing about transcripts. And I had the video here all along! :::hugs:::

-

"I cant tell you."

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Temporal Prime Directive," she dared to grin at Chakotay, attempting to goad him into revealing more of what he knew whilst he tried to make her tell. As the realisation hit her, Kathryn tried to keep the same mischievous grin in place, striking up further conversation so he wouldn’t notice the change in her, "Well? I believe you have a bottle of cider to go retrieve."

"And why would I want to do that? Saving it for a later date seems the more ‘appropriate’ thing to do," Chakotay replied, "and I wouldn’t want to have a drunken captain on my hands," he teased.

She raised an eyebrow and feigned insult, all the while replaying events in her mind, "Are you implying I can’t handle my alcohol, Commander?"

Damn him! It was him! It was his fault! If he hadn’t have said those words to her, she’d never have known! Damn him! Damn him to hell! Damn temporal anomalies! And damn the Temporal Prime Directive to go with them!

"I’m saying, that, as most people do, you and I are most likely to decide on a third bottle after the second, then a fourth, and before you know it, we’re crawling to the Bridge tomorrow morning and having to request red alert lighting because of the colossal headache…" he answered, smirking.

Kathryn tried a smile, "You always have an answer for everything, don’t you, Chakotay?" she spectacularly failed in keeping the edge out of her voice, and knew she had failed when he tilted his head and regarded her with a concerned expression.

She clenched her jaw and suppressed a growl of fury at her own words, "I remember too damn much. So something must have gone wrong along the way."

Chakotay simple stared placidly back at her, watching her emotions play out across her features, wondering what had occurred in the brief few seconds that was reducing a normally controlled woman to such a display, "…Kathryn?"

She had laughed. Something she now thought she would never be capable of again in his presence. Kathryn just glared back at him, jokes and cider forgotten, "…Why?" she demanded, voice harsh.

"…Captain?" use of her rank only seemed to anger her more, "…I don’t know what you mean…" Chakotay responded, helpless.

"Why did you do it?" she questioned, quietly.

He was still at a loss…

And she remembered the single most important thought in her mind at that moment.

"Why did you tell me!?" Kathryn stood, shouting.

Chakotay stood and met her in the space between them, "Tell you what?" he tried to keep an even tone.

She narrowed her eyes, "’There are some barriers we never cross’" she quoted. Kathryn glared up at him, unrepentant when she saw the shock in his eyes, "Sound familiar?"

He stared at her for several seconds, before he backed away, "…It’s the truth…" he answered, softly.

"…This is all your fault…" she whispered.

"What?" he snapped, not appreciating any accusation.

"This. Us. You. Me," a moment of hurt laughter escaped her, "Or the lack thereof," she turned away from him, "And all this time I thought it was me…"

"Kathryn-"

"Don’t," she held up a warning hand, "Just don’t," she shook her head, "And how you can just sit here as if nothing happened, whilst you were off ensuring our futures, I don’t know…"

"That’s not fair," Chakotay barked.

"Fair? Fair doesn’t even come into-"

"No. You listen to me," he advanced toward her, stopping mere inches away, "You’ve always been too curious for your own damned good. You asked. You kept asking. I couldn’t answer the others, you wouldn’t expect me to answer the others, the you then or here right now. That I could answer, so I did. Admit it, this time you asked one too many questions and got burnt for it!"

"So you did it out of spite!?"

"Oh no. Far from it. I did it to see if it would change anything-"

"That’s just as bad!"

"But I should have known you were always Captain first. Spirits forbid you should listen to your heart."

Kathryn moved away from him this time, "…What makes you so sure I-"

"Because now I know. And I know why. I didn’t plan it. You cant control time. What will be will be. All I ever wanted was a straight answer. Yes or no. Not a ‘perhaps under different circumstances’ or ‘I think I feel for you what you feel for me, but I’m going to ignore it’."

She glared at him, wondering whether to give a scathing response. She was furious. With him…yet more with herself. Always with herself.

"…Get out…" escaped before any of her white hot anger could find an outlet.

Chakotay looked down at her with a questioning gaze, "You-"

"Get out…" she whispered.

"Kathryn-"
"Chakotay. Get out. Leave me alone. Now," Kathryn walked to the door and hit a command for it to open as she stood beside it.

He didn’t move.

"Don’t push me. Leave," she stated, in a deadly even tone.

He moved to the door, standing beside her, and made a move as if to touch her, admitting defeat when she leant away from him. Chakotay left without another word.

The door slid shut behind him, leaving Kathryn shaking with fury, hands curling into fists at her sides.

Her right fist slammed into the wall with such force…

…That several bones in its structure…

And her heart…

…Shattered…

-

Fin