Title: To Numb The Pain

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Season: End of Season 1, beginning of Season 2

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren’t mine.

Notes: This started with two lines that wouldn’t leave me alone. I know a lot of people say that Sheppard and Weir have been sleeping together since almost the start; this is another take on that. I’m sorry if you guys don’t like it, but I had to get the idea out of my head.

-

Elizabeth hid a yawn as she turned back to address the leader of her third team. Try as she might, she hadn’t been able to shake the feeling of drowsiness that had followed her since she had woken. Even though the coffee supplies were running low, she knew lack of caffeine was no excuse for her body to suddenly decide it wanted to up her daily sleep allowance. She blinked and suddenly realised she’d tuned out nearly everything the poor man had been saying, "I’m sorry, could you repeat that?"

"The negotiations?" he prompted.

"Yes," she nodded, "Right, okay, try and get a higher percentage of their crop yield if you can, but we really can’t afford to offer much more of our medical supplies. If it really comes down to it, offer basic weaponry, but I don’t want-" Weir put a hand to her head as her vision swam, "I don’t want-"

"Doctor Weir?" Ford, who was accompanying the team, frowned and took a step toward her.

"I’m fine," she insisted, holding up a hand in protest, "Right, I don’t want them-" her vision clouded entirely and she felt her knees give way, yet felt no more as Ford lunged forward to catch her before she hit the floor.

The lieutenant lowered her gently to the ground, "Doctor Weir? Doctor?" he checked her pulse before raising his voice, "We need a med team over here!"

-

"How long until Dune’s team get back?" Sheppard questioned as he entered the command centre, "’Cause if he’s out there pissing some more aliens off, then call him back; that’s my job," he quipped. He glanced into the briefing room, then across to Weir’s office, "Where’s Doctor Weir?"

"Haven’t you heard?" a young woman paused opposite him.

"Heard what?"

"She was taken down to the Infirmary just over an hour ago."

"What?" John stared.

"She passed out whilst briefing Dune’s team," she explained, "Nobody’s heard anything-" she took a step back as Sheppard dashed away from the command centre, "…Yet…"

-

"…Doctor Weir?"

Elizabeth shook her head, eyes still closed, trying to ignore the voice that called her back to consciousness.

"Doctor Weir?"

She reluctantly opened her eyes and managed to focus on the anxious face looking down at her, "…Carson?"

"How’re you feeling?" he asked.

"Not so great," she admitted, making the effort to sit up, "How…why am I here?" she frowned, "How did I get here?"

"We brought you here from the command centre, you passed out earlier. If you were feeling so bad, why didn’t you bring yourself down here before?" Beckett chastised.

"I was feeling fine, just a little tired, that’s all," Elizabeth protested.

"How long has this been going on for?"

"…A few days…" she admitted.

"Well, I ran a few tests whilst you were unconscious, and I’m sorry to say there’s a wee bit more to this than just a few more hours kip…"

"What do you mean? What’s wrong with me?"

Carson shook his head, "There’s nothing wrong with you, Doctor Weir…you’re just over a month pregnant…"

Elizabeth stared, "…I’m what?"

"You’re pregnant."

"…I…I mean…I’m…I can’t…" she surprised herself by discovering her eyes could get wider than already were, "I…" she broke off and just sat there nodding to herself, "…Yeah…"

"…I don’t mean to be indelicate…but unless it was a bloody immaculate conception…"

"No, no," a quiet laugh escaped her, "of course not. Is everything okay…? I mean aside from the passing out…"

He nodded, "Everything seems to be fine. Though I wish you’d got yourself down here earlier."

"I’m sorry, I’m just so busy and-"

"Well that’s got to stop, you’ve got a child to consider now…"

Elizabeth reached out and touched his arm, "Carson, this is a bit much for me to take in right now…"

"Of course…but unless you pretend to humour me and get a couple of hours sleep whilst you’re here-"

"Hey!" John Sheppard’s voice rang through the Infirmary, as he skidded to a halt at the end of Weir’s bed, "What’s going on, what’s wrong? Word’s out that you fainted earlier…" he looked across at Beckett, "What’s going on, Carson?"

Before the Doctor could answer, Elizabeth shook her head, "Could you give us a minute?"

Beckett nodded, "And then you’ll get some sleep?"

She rewarded him with a half smile, "Yes."

"I’ll suppose I’ll be back later then," he quickly left, trying to ignore what he was beginning to suspect.

Once they were alone, John sat on the end of the bed, "What’s wrong?"

She wouldn’t quite meet his gaze, "…I’m pregnant, John."

He stared at her for a moment, "…You’re pregnant…"

"Yes…" Elizabeth nodded, "…and this complicated things."

"…Yeah…" he appeared to be struck dumb.

She started to move from the bed, "You are the father, by the way," her tone suddenly almost accusative, "I don’t expect you to do anything, I’m not going to ask anything of you."

"What?" he snapped.

Weir stood, "I know neither of us went into this thinking about this sort of thing-"

"So you think I’d want you to absolve me of all responsibility for the child? Our child?" he twisted round to follow her movement.

"I’m just saying that-"

"This isn’t some negotiation, Elizabeth!"

"You don’t think I know that? What I do know is that this is something neither of us expected! And I also know that you’ve been avoiding me since that…" she broke off and looked away, "…since that last night…" she finished, softly.

"You wouldn’t even look at me for days!" John countered, turning to face her.

"What was I supposed to do? Every other time things could just get back to normal! That first night I crept into your bed I needed you, and I comforted you in the same way! That was different, you know as well as I do that it hasn’t always been about love and caring, its been about despair and hurting and anything to numb the pain!" she shouted, "I didn’t expect for us to fall in love! That’s what scared you! That’s why you left! We made love that night and it frightened you!"

"And it damn well scared you too! I saw the look on your face!" he retorted.

"For the two seconds you were there afterward!"

"And I suppose that’s worse than all the times you’ve got what you wanted and left!"

"Its not like that!"

"Seems like it to me!"

"I-" Elizabeth shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, "This is getting us nowhere. What it comes down to is whether you want this baby or not."

"Do you want this baby?" he questioned.

"…It’s a shock…but yes. I can’t get rid of a life I created. I respected its father enough to sleep with him, we both knew what we were doing. I want to keep the baby. I’m sorry if you don’t, but I don’t ask anything of you," she sighed and sank down onto the bed, "…I do love you, John. It didn’t happen overnight…but I don’t expect that to-"

"I love you and I love this baby," Sheppard stated, pacing round to her side of the bed and taking one of her hands in his, "and I could never contemplate asking you to give it up…I’m sorry I left you that night…"

"I’m sorry I didn’t stay for the others…"

"I shouldn’t have left. You were right; it did scare me. I didn’t think I should feel so strongly about you…and I didn’t expect you to return those feelings."

"It was wrong of me to presume. There is such a thing as thinking things through too much," she shook her head, "What’re we going to do?"

John sat on the bed beside her, "We’re going to have a baby."

"What are the rest of Atlantis going to say?"

"’I told you so’."

"What?" Elizabeth blinked.

"They think we’ve been sleeping together since we set eyes on each other. Haven’t you seen the looks they give us?"

"Sneaky little-"

"No, that’s us…" he smirked.

She kissed his smile away, "…True…" she would have continued, had he not insisted on kissing her more passionately, overwhelming her senses. She broke away, breathless, eyes closed, "…Now is that any way to kiss an expectant mother…?"

He grinned, "I don’t know…better try it again…"

-

Fin