Making Mischief

Title: Making Mischief

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: None. I think.

Season: 2

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren’t mine.

Notes: This started as very stupid idea which probably wasn’t going to get written until I mentioned it to Aimee5 and instead of yelling that I was insane, she yelled at me to write it. So…yeah, she’s a little to blame for this. Not just me…

It was early in the morning when she heard of yet another prank played by the almost infamous John Sheppard. The same instant she knew he was behind it was the instant she decided he’d been having way too much fun for his own good recently. Not only that, but if he openly flirted with her in front of their staff once more time she was going to… wait, hang on a second…now there was an idea…

She was patient. That she had in her favour. She hadn’t become a diplomat without learning there was a time and place for every scenario, and that losing your nerve too early on usually brought it all back on you. That, or left you with a room of screaming foreign ambassadors and the urge to hit your head against the table until you lost consciousness. So. Elizabeth waited until he was in full charm mode before she began her first attack. They happened to be in the command centre at the time. The thought of seeing his reaction in front of everybody was priceless, and one she entertained for a few seconds before she decided she’d rather have him very privately humiliated, if only so she alone would have the pleasure of being able to wind him up. It was when he smirked at her with the ever more frequent suggestive glint in his eyes that she went in for the kill.

"Colonel?" Elizabeth folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

John blinked and glanced hesitantly across at her, not liking her tone, "…Yes?"

"A word, if you don’t mind. My office," she strode out ahead of him, expecting him to follow.

A little unnerved, and a little confused, he did. When the doors slid shut behind them, he remained close to the back of the room, unsure.

"Colonel?" she leant against her desk and folded her arms again.

"…Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth looked down at the floor for a moment, as if preparing herself, when in fact she was steeling herself against laughing from the outset. She looked back up, expression perfectly sober, almost uncertain, "…John…" she kept her voice quiet.

He took a couple of paces forward, gaining in confidence.

"I…"

"Elizabeth, what’s wrong?"

She unfolded her arms and looked back at the floor again. She hadn’t sat at the negotiation table all these years and not learnt how to put on a good performance. She sighed and looked up again, "John, you have to stop this."

John frowned, "Stop what?"
"The flirting. Looking at me like that. Especially around other people. John, please, I don’t want to hurt-"

"Eli-"

"I’m not interested," she stated, walking away to distance herself from him, "I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m not interested. In you," she frowned and paused, "Or men in general really," she bit down on the inside of her lip to stop herself from smiling. Pausing for effect, she continued on as if she had no idea of the impact on him, "…I’m…sort of interested in Teyla actually…"

John stared, turning a choke into a cough, "You’re what?"

"I’m sorry, John," Elizabeth said quietly. She gestured toward the door, "If you’ll excuse me, I have some work to finish. I…hope that clears things up…"

He stared for a few more seconds, "…You’re…" he shook his head, deciding not to question her, and strode from the room, now thoroughly confused.

She was glad the doors shut so swiftly behind him, or he would have heard the first choke of a laugh that escaped her.

He’d managed to convince himself that she was joking by the time he walked into the Atlantis commissary. Unfortunately, what he saw when he wandered in put him straight back to square one. Oh come on! Who was she kidding? …But what if she wasn’t? She’d seemed genuine. And he had been pushing it recently. As it was, he managed to walk right past the table that Elizabeth and Teyla sat together at, ignoring them completely. Well. Almost. He did shoot Teyla a questioning glare as he wandered past.

Once she felt he was out of earshot, Teyla shot a questioning look of her own at Elizabeth, "…Is Colonel Sheppard in good health, Doctor Weir?"

A slight smirk crept onto Elizabeth’s face as she looked down at the table, "…Perfect health."

"Is there something going on I am unaware of? Is he angry with those of us on his team?"

"No, no," she looked back up, suddenly guilty, "No, he’s not angry."

"Then why did he look at me in such a fashion?" Teyla continued, playing the ‘serious’ card to try and get an answer, when she knew full well something wasn’t right. She wasn’t quite able to keep the smile from her eyes, and knew it when her companion had to look down again to stop from smiling herself.

"…I may have told him I had an interest in you…"

"An interest?" she tilted her head.

"…An interest."

"For what reason was this stated?"

"The numerous victims of his sudden wave of-" Elizabeth frowned as Teyla reached across the table and touched her arm, and only just managed to turn her look of confusion to one of sombre thought when she saw John walk by their table again. The effort not to laugh was killing her, "…Teyla?" she mumbled.

Teyla released her arm and returned to her food, "I was the recipient of that bucket of ocean water," she sounded almost devious.

"…I see…"

The next attack was planned with perfect precision.

"Strike, hold!"

John could hear Teyla’s voice from outside the gym, and the scene that met his eyes when he walked inside certainly wasn’t one he had been expecting.

"Back, strike, cut," she ducked out of harm’s reach as Elizabeth struck out at her, stepping gracefully back and smiling innocently as she caught sight of the newcomer, "Colonel Sheppard."

"Teyla…"

Elizabeth relaxed from her attack stance and stretched.

"Elizabeth…"

"I was just instructing…" Teyla’s hesitation was barely noticeable, but there, "…Elizabeth in self defence."

Elizabeth wandered across the room and picked up a sports bag from the floor, "Sorry to have taken up your sparring time," she addressed John. On her way past Teyla, she embraced her in a brief hug before making for the door, "Same time next week?"

"I look forward to it."

She smiled and was gone.

John frowned, "…Since when does Doctor Weir train in self defence?"

Teyla affected innocence, "Elizabeth has been training for some weeks now."

"Elizabeth?"

"It is her name, is it not?"

Okay. He was going to have to have words with one Elizabeth Weir. He couldn’t have been wrong for all those months. She had been flirting with him too and she knew it. Had she been stringing him along all that time? Or was she really just messing with him?

Teyla held up a pair of battle sticks and threw them across at him.

He was still so lost in thought that they hit in square in the chest.

Elizabeth was seated on her bed when she heard the door chime to her quarters, "Come in," she called, concentration elsewhere, proof reading a report she intended to submit.

"Alright, level with me here, what the hell is going on?" the words were out of John’s mouth barely after he’d got in the door.

She frowned, "John?"

"Elizabeth?"
She set her tablet computer aside, "What do you mean?" she stood up to trail the power cable back so she wouldn’t trip up on it.

"Today. What you said this morning."

"John, I’m sorry, I meant-"

Before she knew what was happening, he had grabbed her and begun kissing her in such a fashion that her shock was quickly replaced with surges of other emotion that she fought to suppress. Damn him! So much for messing with him. When he broke away, grip still on her arms, she remained silent, head tilted, a question in her gaze. She closed her eyes as their lips met again and allowed herself to be pushed backward against the wall, where he began a more intense assault on her. Breaking away with a groan, she reluctantly made a token gesture of pushing him away, before she snatched him back to her to continue.

"…Not interested in men…" he kissed her more insistently, nuzzling at her neck for a moment, "Not interested in me…"

Her only reply was a low moan as she hauled him back on target to kiss her again, tightening her grip on him.

"…You’re messing with me…" he whispered.

She gasped for breath as he continued his very welcome attentions to her, lips curving in a brief smile, "…And don’t you forget it…"

Fin